We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again--and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. -- Mark Twain

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THOUGHTS ON FAMOUS PRESIDENTS ***

Did you know that the rearranged letters of Spiro Agnew's name spell... "Grow a penis"? Coincidence? You decide.

Did you know that the number of letters in Ronald Wilson Reagan's name are

6-6-6? Coincidence? You decide.

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Interesting Quotes

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give

the wrong answers.

== Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

== The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it

cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with

that?"

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian

because I hate plants.

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words,

there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but

government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

== There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the

streets?

== I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an

infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even

considering if there are men on base.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake

when you make it again.

On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think

Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?

1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.

2. Advising the President.

3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

-- David Letterman

== Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of

Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't

realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Hobbes: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be

when you kill them. -- William Clayton

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Can miles truly separate us from friends?

if we really want to be with the ones we love,

aren't we already there?"

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VARIOUS THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE AND FIDELITY:

"I'm an excellent housekeeper.

Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.

The rest cheat in Europe"

-- Jackie Mason