| Today is July 6th 2009, Darren's at work, so is Donny.......I'm in
so much pain, hard to take anymore, I'm having death thoughts
again.........I actually don't want to die I want to LIVE, but not this
way. There is so much I want to do, yet day after day I do
nothing but be in pain........day and night PAIN I hate it. I do
everything I can think of to make it stop but it still pursues me
endlessly.
If I don't survive this it will make me so sad as I love my life and family more than words can say.......but no one wants to be around a grumpy, grouchy person that I know I've become. I think Donny's found the girl of his dreams I want to meet her......
Oh God help me please, I don't know how long I can continue like this......not much longer I am sure. I love you my precious family.......each and everyone of you is so big a part of my heart. |